It is excruciatingly difficult to tell children about a divorce. Their lives will be upended, and they will face many changes that are beyond their control. However, there are tips that Illinois parents can follow that may possibly minimize some of the impacts.
When informing the children of the divorce, it is very important to stress repeatedly that the children are loved by both parents. The best thing would be if both parents can have a conversation with the children together. The children need to know that they are not to blame for the divorce and that it has nothing to do with them. Parents should also promise their children that they will do everything possible to keep their routine the same. At the same time, they need to present a united front and never tell the children that the divorce was the other parent’s fault.
Parents should also listen to their children during this time and be available to reassure them when necessary. Even if the parent is struggling themselves, they should continuously offer the children love, support and a pat on the back when necessary. They must acknowledge the children’s feelings and promise that they will always be available to talk. However, they need to be careful about trying to communicate with children in adult language and should, instead, put things in terms to which children can relate.
One of the best ways to make divorce less stressful for children is to have a process that is free of litigation and conflict. This is not always easy for spouses to accomplish. When they hire a divorce attorney, the lawyer could help them remain out of court by suggesting strategies to use in negotiating a settlement. The attorney may also give advice on ways to lower the amount of tension in the settlement discussions.