One of the things you will hear repeatedly as divorcing parents is the need to co-parent. People and articles will tell you that you are meant to put your differences with each other aside, put your children’s best interests first and work together to raise them.
If it were that easy, you might not be divorcing in the first place. The very reason you have got to this point might be that you can’t communicate well with each other, or you can’t agree on how to raise your children. So what then?
Parallel parenting offers an alternative
If you can’t co-parent, you may want to consider parallel parenting. For many divorcing parents, this is a far more realistic option.
It reduces the need to communicate, agree and co-operate. Instead, it allows you to work off the basis that you won’t agree on many things and that trying to discuss them could be counter-productive and easily lead to arguments and ill feelings.
In short, you agree to disagree and agree to not care too much about what the other party does with the children when they have them. This does not mean you need to accept your ex mistreating the children or endangering them. You should always speak up or look at your legal options if that is a concern. Rather, it means you accept that there is more than one way to parent and more than one way to handle most situations.
Letting each other get on with parenting in their own style can be a huge weight off your minds. It can benefit your children too, as there is little worse for a child than feeling caught in the middle of their parent’s disagreements. Learning more about all the options is wise if you need to make a parenting plan.
