Children don’t always adjust well to changes. Some children may struggle to adapt when they move or when a loved one isn’t around as often as they once were. For some, going through a divorce is a disruption that is not easily surmounted.
As a parent, there can be nothing more difficult than watching your child suffer. That’s why you and your ex-spouse have been working together to help your child adapt. You both speak freely with them and allow them time to see either of you as and when necessary. You’ve stayed friends with your ex-spouse, so letting your child see you both isn’t a problem, but sudden breakdowns, tearful episodes and tantrums have you questioning when things will get better.
For some children, therapy is in order
If you and your ex-spouse have tried to maintain a routine, have had good expectations and have done what you can to appease your child to no avail, it may be time to consider therapy. Sometimes, children have a difficult time expressing their needs. They may cry for mom or dad without expressing that they’ve gotten hurt or that there is something they want and can’t have because of where they are. They may be scared of a new home or be struggling with a new neighbor, so they try to avoid seeing a parent. They could be angry and become destructive.
In all these cases, working with a family or child therapist could help. Most children do go through divorce and are able to cope, but if you find that your child isn’t adjusting, this may be the next step toward helping them get back to their normal self. Your attorney can talk to you during the divorce process about making adjustments to your custody agreement that could help, as well as about how to help your child cope.