Illinois law allows you to end your marriage for any reason. In some cases, divorce may be a result of not knowing how you feel about your spouse. Uncertainty about how you feel about your spouse or marriage in general is a sign of ambivalence. Research suggests that it is a strong indicator that your marriage is eventually going to end.
Your marriage becomes more important with time
One of the key reasons why ambivalence results in divorce is because your relationship becomes more important as you age. Typically, younger people define success based on what they accomplish. However, older people generally define success by the quality of their relationships. Therefore, if you aren’t committed to your spouse, you may feel like the marriage is a failure and something that isn’t worth continuing.
Ambivalence breeds conflict
Perhaps the biggest reason why ambivalence leads to divorce is because it causes significant stress in the relationship. That stress increases the likelihood of conflict between the couple. Ultimately, constant fighting and feelings of inadequacy will take a toll on your mental health as well as your spouse’s mental health. This will typically result in at least one party to the marriage feeling as if divorce is the only way to change things.
When ambivalence doesn’t lead to divorce
Not all couples who feel ambivalent toward each other will get a divorce. However, those who stay together generally act more like roommates or business partners. Of course, it may also be possible to overcome these feelings by engaging in individual therapy, couples therapy or both.
Regardless of how you feel about your spouse, the terms of a divorce settlement will be based on objective facts. Therefore, if you want to keep the house in a settlement, you’ll need to prove that you’re entitled to it. It may be possible to use bank statements, tax returns or other documents to verify that you can receive the home or other property in a final agreement.
