One of the biggest concerns for couples in Illinois considering divorce is how their children will handle the split. Many children suffer problems following their parents’ divorce. A child-centered divorce is immensely helpful in easing trauma.
Children are your greatest asset
Most parents naturally want the best for their children; however, the needs of the children can inadvertently be overlooked during the emotional turmoil of divorce. Many often get caught up in financial issues and their own emotions surrounding the dissolution of the marriage. Yet, most spouses can agree that they love their children. By reminding yourself of this positive emotion, you can take steps to protect them from the worst consequences of divorce.
Consider these four steps
To achieve a child-center divorce, think about what your children will say later in life about their parents’ divorce story. Consider these steps to minimize the damage:
- Stay out of court as much as possible, as this scenario produces a winner-loser situation due to conflict.
- Focus on recovery, not revenge or justice, as children want to feel safe and loved.
- Listen to your children and focus on their needs and wants.
- Don’t drag out the divorce but move it along at a steady pace.
Cooperation between parents is essential
Although your marriage may have been unsuccessful, that doesn’t mean you have failed as parents. If you have worked well previously with your spouse on parenting issues, you have a good chance of doing so to reach a divorce agreement. Consider mediation or other divorce negotiation alternatives to minimize any animosity that may occur. Mediation is a less expensive alternative than litigation. It allows you and the other parent to spend more time with your kids and attend to their needs during the process.
Having a child-centered divorce also means realizing that your children’s needs and circumstances will likely change over time. This can necessitate changes to childcare and parenting agreements. You should approach those changes in the same way as the original agreement to keep the focus on your offspring.
