It can be difficult to talk with children about an upcoming divorce. But it is important to have this conversation, keeping in mind that children may want different information at different ages.
But no matter how old your children are, there are some tips that will help the conversation go smoothly. Below are a few things you may want to keep in mind.
You and your spouse should do it together
First of all, it’s often recommended for parents to present a united front. The children need to know that both of their parents have decided to get divorced together and that they will both still be involved in the children’s lives. As such, you and your spouse should have this conversation at the same time, and neither one of you should break the news before the other.
All of your children should be present
Similarly, if you have multiple children, it’s wise to have them all there at the same time. As noted above, they may need different details at different ages, but you can provide those later. Start by telling them that the divorce is coming, so that they all find out from you and not through the grapevine.
Let them ask their own questions
One mistake that parents make is spending the entire conversation telling the children things without giving them a chance to speak, too. But children are going to have many questions about why the divorce is happening, where they’re going to live, what it means for their future and much more. Be sure you give them a chance to ask their own questions and provide answers.
These three tips can help you get the conversations started. As you move forward with the divorce, be sure you understand all your legal options, especially when dividing custody.
